The Trouble with Bicycles

You knew it was a bad idea. Your heart pounding in your chest as you made your way down the dirty steps of your apartment building was enough of a hint, but you ignored it this time. A little dusting off the seat, a quick turn of the key, and there you were, walking your brand-new bike that hadn't been touched in weeks into the street. Looking around for traffic, you awkwardly threw a leg over its shiny blue frame--and you were off.

At least, for a little bit. In no time at all your legs burned in protest of all this sudden exercise, and your lungs wheezed from their own work. You curse the cigarette you smoked before lunch; you hadn't realized how picking up that little habit again would affect you. You realize people are walking faster than you can ride.

After a few large buses make a big show of dodging around your sad attempt at cycling, you decide enough is enough. Pulling over onto the sidewalk, you pretend to check your tires for air, then secure the shiny blue bike to the closest chain you can find. You then being strolling down the street as if you'd never seen the lonely bicycle before while trying your best to catch your breath. It'll be there later when you walk home, although inside you sort of wish it'll be stolen. Then you'd have a real excuse not to use it.

Moral: The trouble with bicycles is that you already have to be in shape to ride them.